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Why Should We Think About Our Family Values?
Having family values …. that your family has talked about … helps create a strong foundation for your marriage, your children, and your family as a whole. Each family member knows what to expect and what are considered the most important “things” in your home. This creates stability and confidence.
Step 1: How Do We Discover Our Family Values?
Yep, time to call a family meeting. Make it fun…food is generally a good thing (especially if you have teenagers like I do!)
It’s time to ask questions and just listen (this can be so hard for me sometimes!)…but really…just listen and write things down.
Some questions you might want to consider are
- When are we the most happy?
- When do we make our best decisions?
- When do we make our worst decisions?
- How do we enjoy spending our free time?
- How do we want to treat each other?
- Who inspires us and why?
- How do we feel about education, work, learning, careers?
- How do we feel about money, saving for a rainy day, saving for a family vacation?
- How important is spirituality in our lives?
- Is volunteering important? How do we feel about service opportunities?
- What are characteristics we want our family to be known for?
- What does success as a family look like?
Step 2: Narrow Down and Identify Your Family Values
Let each family member look over the list of example values. Let them circle their top values I would give them a limit of 10-15. Yes…this can be tough! But that helps them narrow down what is most important.
Make sure that everyone gets the chance to do this activity on their own…it’s too easy to be influenced by siblings and parents!
Look for the values that show up with at least 2 family members and write them down. (Everyone will probably have values that are important to them personally that won’t show up in the family list…let them know that is ok…they can have their own set of personal values)
Step 3: Discover Your Family Values
As a family, look at the values that showed up with at least 2 family members. You may or may not want to narrow the list down further. (We actually did this every week for 5 weeks as we narrowed our list down!)
Decide how many values you want to focus on. You want to make sure that everyone in the family is represented.
If you have 12 values…you could focus on one value each month. Ideally, I think it’s best to keep the number fairly low. It’s hard for our brains to focus on too many things at one time!
Step 4: Display Your Family Values
Put your values where everyone can see them! Do you have a budding artist in your family who could create something interesting to reflect your values?
I like using Canva.com to create nice looking wall art…print it from your computer or send it off to your favorite printer and find a place to display it in your home.
Step 5: Talk About Your Family Values Often
Talk about your family values often …. maybe you have a regular time your family gathers … you could include your value of the month in your discussion. You might have regular devotionals or meal times where they are discussed. They might come up in more casual conversations.
Step 6: Revisit Your Family Values
When is a good time to see if your family values still represent you? At the beginning of the year in January? At the beginning of the school year in August? Figure out a time and put it on your family calendar!
Depending on the ages of your children, you may want to do this activity with just your spouse. Having a time scheduled to revisit your family values each year allows you to include your children as they grow older and lets them have more input. This is a great way to create strong bonds with your teens!
Make it Happen!
- Schedule some family time to sit down and start your discussion. (Remember the snacks and keep it fun!)
- Get your copy of sample values here